Oh god

I don’t find anything more disingenuous than the trend of religious types to take clearly non religous music, activities, and practices and to change nothing about them and claim them as their own. This is why I was pleased to find Christ Cycles employees listening to easily understood Christian death metal music while assembling fixies in the most capitalistic of ways that even Jesus himself would advocate for the spreading of “the word” and that word is “bandwagon” which ultimately is what they are selling and what they probably have no difficulty seeing non-beleivers do when it comes to their moral and ethical belief systems. What started as an accidental passing of a building located easily close enough to my work for me to launch a hard piss close to (gotta go gotta go right now) morphed into a review of what has become a Richmond institution insomuch as it has become a well known cycle spoofery amongst bloggers worldwide. For their part Christ cycles is providing cheap fixies to the world in colorways we can all appreciate (Christs offering red for example) and making trackstands all that much more accessable to the hip Christian set (or I just invented that….hip Christians?). The bikes themselves seem to be no different than an equivalent bike from a large name manufacturer and one of the clerks even said their frames originate from a factory right down the road from factories where large name manufacturers have thier frames “dropped” by workers in Taiwan just as these frames too are blessed into exsistance. Let’s be honest here though, no Giant, Fuji, or Specialized really comes from the place these fixes hail from (christs unconditional lovesack) but in fairness to their mortality do get fabricated on the same island. While the location of the shop is difficult to find, once you open your mind to the blessings (or follow the trail of sewer goo in the alley) and walk down the stairs to the open door where they freely release air conditioning into the atmosphere (rise up o cold air!) you too will have entered his realm and come to understand that these vegans are in no way invoking the name of Christ for profit by doing what is legitimatly a good buisness idea of powder coating cheap bicycles to order so that they are more visually appealling for consumers who clearly are familiar with the word of the bible in this realm (John 7:24 and Ezekiel 1:16). Most importantly, I do hope they come out with a mixte soon! (Deuteronomy 22:5)

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One thought on “Oh god

  1. “Bust thee out thy holy trackstand, and skiddeth thy tire in His name. Shred thee thy gnar and paint on thine garments in remembrance of the Sabbath, for then you will know that His chucks too, come in standard black. And above all, be good to one another, and party on.”
    (1st letter to the Apostles 4:15)

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